I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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