It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
