What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
