Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
