Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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