If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
