porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
