i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The air was thick with penises
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
