____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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