Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
