You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
