He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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