So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
