heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Actions speak louder than pants.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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