I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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