super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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