There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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