It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Mom said you looked used
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
