Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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