After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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