Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
