a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
