I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
