Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
