Fuck appropriateness.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
