Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I need moral support for this bender
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
