Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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