1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
