..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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