we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
