when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
