dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
