You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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