I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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