she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
