I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
