I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
