she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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