Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
