I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
