If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
