It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
