Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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