Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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