did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
