If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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