Me. At least after what I've been through.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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