You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
