The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
