I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
