Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They took my balls.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
