Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
